Hogwarts Members: Behind the
by Jackie Potansas
Summary: Here at Witch Weekly, we always get the scoop about what your favorite Hogwarts students and staff are up to. You won't want to miss this!
1. Fred and George: Behind the Pranks

A/N: I was extremely bored one day, and decided to twist the lives of MY presonal characters. Hope you like!!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, or Witch Weekly, or The WWN. I own the "Behind the Pranks" idea, sorta...but i borrowed the idea from Vh1 behind the music. i dont own that, but its still fun!

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Fred and George: Behind the Pranks

Everyone knows the Weasley twins and their crazy shenanigans, but do you know who they are personally? Sure you have seen them, possibly met them, and bought some tricks in a box and such, but do you REALLY know them? Well we got an exclusive interview with none other than Percy and Ron Weasley. They seemed very anxious to spill the beans on their two brothers. Below is our interview:

US: So, what was it like to grow up with Fred and George?

R: Well, they were a bit rude, just because I was younger....but I got over it, thank god for therapy!

P: Yes, those two were quite a handful! If they weren't pulling pranks on Mum, then they were certainly bugging me, Charlie or Bill.

US: Fascinating. So, tell us, were they always so mischievous?

R: Ever since I was born, they had put itching powder in my diapers, messed up my posters in my room, anything they could to bug the hell out of me. So, to answer you question: UM, DUH.

P: Well, since their birth, they have been the most annoying twits-wait don't print that-the most, oddest pair I've seen in my life. They were always together, inventing ways to get at me for being so wonderful-don't print that either-um, for being so...kind towards them.

R: (snorts)

US: What was it like in school with them?

R: Well they DID always treat me like a child at school, but, that was cured in therapy too...where was I? Oh, right-they were very secretive about what they had been working on, such as new inventions, or ways to torture me.

P: Ugh...it seems wherever I was, they were there, causing mayhem!! When I became prefect, and then Head Boy...

US: Congratulations!

P: Why thank you! Yes it was quite an honor. I was named Head Boy in front of all my class-

R: Uh hem!!

P: Right...well when I became Head Boy, I let them have it!! I hated to dock points from beloved Gryffindor, so I just stuck with detentions, cold stares, and disposing of their "tricks". I was quite busy keeping them out of trouble!

US: Wow...sounds...exhilarating. Now let's answer a letter about everyone's favorite Tricking Twins!! Our selection was a letter from the Mr.'s F. & G. Wepsley. They would like to know: Percy, why do you have to be such a stupid git?

P: Well I never! Wait a second.....FRED! GEORGE! MOTHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE!

R: _snickers in the background before Percy hits him hard in the head. _Ow!

US: Well that was interesting! Let's bring out our guests of Honor!! Fred and George Weasley!

F: Thank you very much! I'd like to thank the Academy..

G: What? You won't thank me?

F: and my brother, George! Without him, I would only be half as good with jokes!

G: You are too kind my brother!

F: Yes, yes I know.

P: Uh Hem!

F: Yes Humongous Git-Percy?

P: ooh....you will pay for that one mister!

R: _ducks as several stunning spells rush near him from his 3 brothers_

US: well that's all the time we have, so sorry! See us next week when we will be featuring Albus Dumbledore: Behind the Chocolate Frog Card!

(Witch Weekly Note: This is an actual transcript from a popular WWN show. It was never actually aired, because the control wizards were hit with Percy's stunning spells. Oh well, at least you know a bit more about The Weasley Twins right?


	2. Hermione: Behind the Brains

Hermione Granger: Behind the Brains

We got the lowdown on what's going on with Hermione Granger. Or should we say Hermione Weasley? (She married the beloved Ron Weasley, who we have here today, along with childhood pal, Harry Potter!)

R: Why am I always interviewed?

US: So, tell us what it was like to go to school with Hermione.

R: She was always so damn brainy! I thought it was annoying until year 4, when I fell madly in love with her.

H: I always thought she was quite strange, but helpful too. I'm happy for my pal Ron, marrying her and all. Nope, no resentment. (Mumbles)

US: Did she always know what to do?

R: Of course. She was brilliant, remember?

H: Yes, she was brilliant and beautiful…

R: (glares)

H: I mean, no, I never loved her, I still don't. (Mutters angry incantations)

US: So what's the scoop on your relations-

H: I COULD'VE HAD HER! SHE COULD'VE BEEN MY WIFE! MY GIRLFRIEND! MY FIRST TIME! (Bursts into tears)

R: (stares at his friend) Anyways, she was amazing. My gosh, she was my first (and only) kiss, and- did you just write "and only?"

US: No, go on.

R: ok. She was special, and I told her that a lot (too much) and yea I just totally- WILL YOU STOP ADDING THINGS?

US: sorry.

R: love her and that's it. (Except she's preggers and I want everyone to know I'm the father) WHAT? HOW DID U KNOW THAT?

US: My quill has a mind of it's own.

R: Obviously.

H: (looks at paper) Oh no, you guys are having kids? THERE'S NO HOPE! (Dreaming about Hermione naked)

R: (looking at paper) WHAT? Harry how could you?

H: Man that quill is good!

US: Bad quill! (No…good quill…) AHH…IT'S TAKING OVER…(I'm a very good quill…)

H: (drools)

R: (slaps Harry)

US: well, time to answer a letter. Shall we? This one is from (some idiot in America) Bill Gates at 1234 Cha-Ching Lane. He writes, "I have a lot of money. Would Hermione be interested in money? Would she leave her husband Ron for my money? I could support her, even though I am a lot older and wrinklier, I still have money."

R: (gasps) what a jerk! I agree with the quill! (Thank you, you can be my evil apprentice! Together we will be more powerful than Voldemort!) Ok!

H: Leave Ron for money? Please. She'd leave Ron for me! (I think Harry is the father of the baby, and having and affair with Hermione!)

R: What? WHAT? (Cries) (Don't worry my apprentice, we can destroy him together!)

H: It's not true! I wish it was true, but it's not!

R: (Stops crying) Ok!

Us: Well, that's all folks!


End file.
